Life story right there. Maybe it’s time I start a new chapter? Perhaps a brighter and happier one? I’d like that.

I hurt myself today
To see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
The only thing that’s real
The needle tears a hole
The old familiar sting
Try to kill it all away
But I remember everything

What have I become?
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know
Goes away in the end
You could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt

I wear this crown of shit
Upon my liar’s chair
Full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
Beneath the stains of time
The feelings disappear
You are someone else
I am still right here

What have I become?
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know
Goes away in the end

You could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt
If I could start again
A million miles away
I would keep myself
I would find a way

Today is a blah day so far. Well, earlier this morning was great but since I went to bed and woke up since it’s been rather unimportant. You see, I went to bed at about 6:35am. I wonder why. I do stay up for a reason... I woke up to a call from my mom asking if I’d want to go to lunch. I took her up on the offer. We went to this mexican restaurant where I had something with chicken in it. Because chicken is the most amazing… Other than the passive conversation we had going, nothing eventful happened. Food came, we ate, we parted ways.

I hear it’s unhealthy and frowned upon to vomit after meals. I don’t do so but I regret every meal I eat. It doesn’t matter what it is. It could be a massive feast or a few grapes and strawberries. I feel sick, depressed almost, after every single meal. As I have stated before, I have managed to shed my past body. Yet a little bit of it still lingers, and I despise it. I want to get rid of it and never worry about it again.

What a fickle thing. I’ve come so far but I become the most judgemental and cruel as I’m reaching the finish line.

I don’t really know what world problem I’m going to solve by making this post but I’m going to give it a go. It’s been raining here for the past two days non-stop. Meaning there are a lot of puddles and all that. And I’ve noticed that a lot of girls are suddenly wearing boots. And I don’t mean the kind that are fine to wear whenever you want. I’m talking about those ones. Those up there. They are winter boots. They look absolutely retarded on you when you’re wearing jeans and nothing but a t-shirt.

That is all. I think I just cured a disease.

I am, at 5:09pm, in one of the best moods I’ve been in for the past year. I don’t know why or how, maybe it’s listening to The Bird and the Bee or that I got 12 hours of sleep or that I’m writing just this cute little story, but I can’t stop smiling and sometimes even giggling. I don’t know if life is good, or even if I have a right to be happy right now but dammit I am. If this is how it feels to get 12 hours of sleep every night then count me in.

Lately, I’ve been fucked up more times than not. Not fucked up in the sense that I’m rolling blunts and drowning in vodka but in the sense that my mind has just not been in the right place at the right time.

For example, right now. I should be asleep. It’s 4:22am, and I have class in 4.5 hours. With one hour of prep and drive time. This is nothing new, really. Only it’s getting worse. It used to be me looking at the clock before I went to bed and it was 2. And then it was 3. And now it’s 4. On days off, I wake up at 3pm and don’t eat until dinner. Meaning: I’m eating one meal a day. And sometimes I barely eat that.

The other day I promised I would attend all my classes and when I was getting ready I decided to lay back down for just a little bit and wound up waking up a half hour later. I rushed to take a shower and get going and I was making pretty decent time until I drove right past my turn and didn’t realize it until a block down the road where I literally mumbled to myself “Did I seriously just miss my turn?” And I didn’t get to my first class.

I must say, I destroyed my New Media Literature midterm even though I spent about ten minutes studying the terms (I’m a writer. I already know them, I guess), and totally used my scribble skills to get a perfect on the essay. I’m so damn good at writing. I should write a book. Too bad the very thing that’s supposed to be benefiting my future is completely destroying the thing I need MOST for MY future to work. And that’s creativity.

I also say a lot of stuff I don’t mean to people… Things that I don’t think, at the time, are very significant but then a minute later I’m like “Well, I really shouldn’t have said that.” And I apologize for that.

Never tell your password to anyone.
Del: what are we laughing about?
Monkeyfisker: Del, rensai is beign a meanie ;-;
Del: And?
Rensai: wtf
Rensai: well
Rensai: monkey didnt know about soundgarden or itunes
Del: I’ve been walking around campus for half an hour looking for a good wi-fi connection. It’s shit today
Monkeyfisker: I DO KNOW ABOUT ITUNES
Monkeyfisker: just not that much D:
Del: lol
Del: LOOOOOOOOOOOOL
Rensai: lol
Monkeyfisker: I’ve heard of soundgarden, I just forgot they were a band ;-;
Monkeyfisker: D:
Rensai: liar
Rensai: how could you not- lol
Del: What did you think they were? A park?
Rensai: haha
Monkeyfisker: No a stereo D:
Del: …
Rensai: LOL
Rensai: ahahahaha
Monkeyfisker: IT SOUNDS LIKE A STEREO NAME
Del: No it doesn’t
Monkeyfisker: Stop laughing at the fact that I’m socially awkward.
Rensai: ahahahah
Del: lol
Del: Can’t help it
Monkeyfisker: I only just got interested in music like a month ago
Del: …
Rensai: lol
Del: How old are you?
Del: 5?
Monkeyfisker: :c
Rensai: ahaha
Del: “I just discovered music”
Monkeyfisker: Its cool.
Del: I’m sorry but I am trying very hard to not start laughing in this hall
Del: Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit
Del: Looks like I’m skipping my next class
Monkeyfisker: wut
Del: I have something due
Rensai: ahah
Del: I think it might actually be late
Starvolt-San has changed their name to Starvolt – starvolt-fls.blogspot.
Starvolt – starvolt-fls.blogspot entered chat.
Starvolt – starvolt-fls.blogspot: Konichiwa
Monkeyfisker: Gutentag.
Del: what is this
Monkeyfisker: madness.
Starvolt – starvolt-fls.blogspot: idk, he complained about you laughing at him :3
Starvolt – starvolt-fls.blogspot: I asked why
Starvolt – starvolt-fls.blogspot: and here I am
Starvolt – starvolt-fls.blogspot: ^_^
Del: He just discovered music
Monkeyfisker: Try not to say anything anime based, he might orgasm.
Del: Try not to laugh
Starvolt – starvolt-fls.blogspot: rofl you just discovered music
Starvolt – starvolt-fls.blogspot: lol
Monkeyfisker: yes :c
Del is brb has changed their name to Del is doing homework omfg.
Starvolt – starvolt-fls.blogspot: you said to me once
Starvolt – starvolt-fls.blogspot: “I AM NOT A CULTIST OF MUSIC”
Starvolt – starvolt-fls.blogspot: lol
Monkeyfisker: I knew about it, I just never listened to it.
Del is doing homework omfg: that is so…
Starvolt – starvolt-fls.blogspot: :l
Del is doing homework omfg: I don’t eve know
Del is doing homework omfg: even
Starvolt – starvolt-fls.blogspot: that actually takes effort
Starvolt – starvolt-fls.blogspot: to /not/ listen to music
Monkeyfisker: Its easy.
Del is doing homework omfg: No it’s not.
Starvolt – starvolt-fls.blogspot: /:l
Del is doing homework omfg: Music is everywhere.
Monkeyfisker: I live in the middle of nowhere
Monkeyfisker: and I’m homeschooled
Starvolt – starvolt-fls.blogspot: yeh but
Monkeyfisker: I go outside like twice a week.
Starvolt – starvolt-fls.blogspot: the radio
Starvolt – starvolt-fls.blogspot: the internet
Rensai: well
Del is doing homework omfg: That explains a lot
Monkeyfisker: I listen to stuff on youtube.
Rensai: god dammit monkey get a life
Monkeyfisker: I’m too lazy to download it.
Del is doing homework omfg: lawl
Monkeyfisker: HOW CAN I GET ONE?
Rensai: lol
Monkeyfisker: I’m homeschooled. fool.
Rensai: so?
Monkeyfisker: I can’t go on a school campus
Rensai: that really shouldnt matter
Del is doing homework omfg: Like
Monkeyfisker: Which is where most people get a life.
Starvolt – starvolt-fls.blogspot: zomg 12th October – Free Muffins at Starbucks
Monkeyfisker: AND I CAN’T DRIVE.
Del is doing homework omfg: every child on my dad’s side of the family is homeschooled.
Del is doing homework omfg: And they are
Del is doing homework omfg: the same
Rensai: ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS, STARVOLT?
Del is doing homework omfg: FREE MUFFINS??!?!!??!!?
Starvolt – starvolt-fls.blogspot: At least in the UK
Del is doing homework omfg: damn
Rensai: FUCK ME IN THE DICK
Del is doing homework omfg: ok
Rensai: i mean
Rensai: schucks.
Monkeyfisker: I’ve never seen a starbucks IRL
Rensai: … oh god monkey
Rensai: oh god
Rensai: lol
Rensai: oh god
Starvolt – starvolt-fls.blogspot: They’re everywhere
Monkeyfisker: Not here.
Del is doing homework omfg: dude
Del is doing homework omfg: what the FUCK
Monkeyfisker: This is Arkansas.
Starvolt – starvolt-fls.blogspot: Have you seen a Maccy’s
Starvolt – starvolt-fls.blogspot: ?
Monkeyfisker: Maccy’s?
Monkeyfisker: Wut
Rensai: i am going to kill your family, and kindap you and take you places, then execute you somewhere on a dock
Starvolt – starvolt-fls.blogspot: McDonald’s
Monkeyfisker: Oh yes.
Del is doing homework omfg: I’m looking
Rensai: this is an intervention monkey
Monkeyfisker: :/
Del is doing homework omfg: And there are like at least 12 Starbucks in Arkansas
Monkeyfisker: None in Pocohontas.
Rensai: LOL
Rensai: the fuck kind of name is that?
Del is doing homework omfg: Why the hell are you living in an indian disney movie?
Monkeyfisker: YES ITS
Monkeyfisker: ITS A NAME
Rensai: lolololol
Monkeyfisker: FOR A TOWN D:
Starvolt – starvolt-fls.blogspot: Oh
Starvolt – starvolt-fls.blogspot: Dear
Starvolt – starvolt-fls.blogspot: God
Rensai: ahahahah
Monkeyfisker: There’s a town a few miles away
Starvolt – starvolt-fls.blogspot hides in a manga.
Monkeyfisker: named after Pocohontas’ dad.
Rensai: ahah
Rensai: the fuck
Rensai: i live in fucking tennessee
Rensai: and i dont know of one city named after a fucking indian
Monkeyfisker: ITS A TOWN
Monkeyfisker: And its big to me
Rensai: i’ll town you
Monkeyfisker: it has 6k people D:
Rensai: lol
Del is doing homework omfg: I think, like, every other city in Iowa is native american shit
Monkeyfisker: Arkansas = The natural state.
Del is doing homework omfg: lol
Rensai: Arkansas = the pussy state
Del is doing homework omfg: Arkansas = the oblivious state
Monkeyfisker: I hate fat americans from other states. They make our fatness look fatter.
Del is doing homework omfg: Awww
Del is doing homework omfg: Arkansas is fat?
Starvolt – starvolt-fls.blogspot: England = The country where Starbuck’s give you free muffin’s on the 12th October.
Del is doing homework omfg: FUCK YOU GUY
Monkeyfisker: I’ve never had a starbucks muffin
Del is doing homework omfg: GET THE FUCK OUT
Rensai:
Monkeyfisker: I’ve never kissed a girl
Rensai: lol
Monkeyfisker: I’ve never went on a date.
Rensai: lol
Del is doing homework omfg: oh hey
Rensai: i mean
Monkeyfisker: I had a GF, for like… two days.
Del is doing homework omfg: there are only 6 things to do on this
Starvolt – starvolt-fls.blogspot: Never been*
Monkeyfisker: I dumped her, she’s creepy.
Del is doing homework omfg: Noo
Del is doing homework omfg: No way
Del is doing homework omfg: Creepy girl from the natural state? No way
Starvolt – starvolt-fls.blogspot: I have eaten so badly today
Rensai: i have accidentally so badly today
Starvolt – starvolt-fls.blogspot: I had a Subway Mega Breakfast thing for breakfast
Starvolt – starvolt-fls.blogspot: then went to Pizza Hut for lunch
Del is doing homework omfg: what the fuck
Your state is set to Offline.
Lost connection to Steam, will rejoin chat automatically when connection regained.
Connected again and rejoined chat.
Monkeyfisker: INFACT
Del is doing homework omfg: THEY SHUT DOWN ME STEAM
Monkeyfisker: I’VE ONLY WENT TO SUBWAY ONCE
Rensai: wow
Monkeyfisker: NO WAIT OR NONE. EITHER ONE IDUNNO>
Rensai: subway is amazing, go die
Monkeyfisker: So I’ve been to Subway once :/?
Monkeyfisker: DOES IT REALLY MATTER?
Rensai: ya
Del is doing homework omfg: I eat Subway at least once a week
Rensai: same.
Del is doing homework omfg: omg
Del is doing homework omfg: guys
Del is doing homework omfg: help
Rensai: ok
Monkeyfisker: I eat fast food once every 2-3 weeks.
Del is doing homework omfg: There are fat people
Del is doing homework omfg: surrounding me
Rensai: ahhhhhhh
Del is doing homework omfg: They’re
Del is doing homework omfg: everywhere
Starvolt – starvolt-fls.blogspot: back
Del is doing homework omfg: OK
Rensai: omg
Del is doing homework omfg: there are only two
Rensai: MONKEY
Del is doing homework omfg: but
Monkeyfisker: Starvolt
Rensai: MONKEY
Del is doing homework omfg: they equal at least two
Rensai: DO YOU REALIZE
Monkeyfisker: I’ve only been to Subway once.
Del is doing homework omfg: per
Rensai: SUBWAY IS NOT FAST FOOD YOUN IGGER?
Starvolt – starvolt-fls.blogspot: lol
Monkeyfisker: IT IS TO ME ;-;
Del is doing homework omfg: aaaaaaahahahahahaha
Monkeyfisker: IT IS TO ME
Starvolt – starvolt-fls.blogspot: it is not indeed
Del is doing homework omfg: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA
Del is doing homework omfg: Dude
Del is doing homework omfg: Subway is not fast food.
Monkeyfisker: Inviting another britfag
Rensai: how is it fast food, if it is a subshop
Englishrifleman has changed their name to Rifleman, English Rifleman.
Rifleman, English Rifleman entered chat.
Rensai: honestly
Del is doing homework omfg: I love britfags
Del is doing homework omfg: no rensai
Monkeyfisker: English, they’re meanies.
Monkeyfisker: Spank them with a bat.
Starvolt – starvolt-fls.blogspot: We’re so amazing.
Rifleman, English Rifleman: What the hell.
Starvolt – starvolt-fls.blogspot: :l
Del is doing homework omfg: subway is TOTALLY fast food. What, with their 20 calorie subs.
Rensai: english its becase monkey has no life
Monkeyfisker: SUBWAY IS FAST FOOD
Del is doing homework omfg: English
Rensai: we are in an intervention
Del is doing homework omfg: Monkey has been to subway ONCE, JUST discovered music
Del is doing homework omfg: And never knew about iTunes.
Starvolt – starvolt-fls.blogspot: He has never seen a Starbucks
Monkeyfisker: I KNEW ABOUT IT
Rensai: OR SOUND GARDEN
Starvolt – starvolt-fls.blogspot: btw English.
Rensai: SOUNDGARDEN
Monkeyfisker: I installed it once
Starvolt – starvolt-fls.blogspot: 12th October
Monkeyfisker: I didn’t do anything with it.
Starvolt – starvolt-fls.blogspot: Free Muffins from Starbucks
Monkeyfisker: I’VE NEVER BEEN TO STARBUCKS
Monkeyfisker: I BET THE MUFFINS ARE NASTY.
Starvolt – starvolt-fls.blogspot: Nah bro
Starvolt – starvolt-fls.blogspot: they are goooooooooood
Del is doing homework omfg: You’re nasty
Del is doing homework omfg: ewwww
Rensai: rawr
Del is doing homework omfg: girls are grossies
Monkeyfisker: I’ve never had not-home made coffee.
Starvolt – starvolt-fls.blogspot: Monkey
Monkeyfisker: Bob.
Starvolt – starvolt-fls.blogspot: Do you belive in like cooties
Starvolt – starvolt-fls.blogspot: or whatever
Monkeyfisker: no
Del is doing homework omfg: omfg
Starvolt – starvolt-fls.blogspot: ARE GIRLS ICKY
Del is doing homework omfg: I only have 43 minutes left on my battery
Rifleman, English Rifleman: Oh god, cooties.
Monkeyfisker: I’m just shy, and socially awkward.
Rifleman, English Rifleman: Stay away from them womens or you might get it.
Starvolt – starvolt-fls.blogspot: there’s a line between socially awkward and socially retarded.
Rensai: coooottttiiiieeeessss
Starvolt – starvolt-fls.blogspot: Which side are you on.
Starvolt – starvolt-fls.blogspot: I wonder.
Monkeyfisker: Awkward.
Monkeyfisker: I have people I talk too.
Monkeyfisker: AND NOT ON THE INTERNET.
Rensai: lol
Starvolt – starvolt-fls.blogspot: rofl
Del is doing homework omfg: GASP
Del is doing homework omfg: Your teacher doesn’t count
Starvolt – starvolt-fls.blogspot: MON DIEU
Rensai: haha
Monkeyfisker: My computer teaches me
Rensai: we know haha
Starvolt – starvolt-fls.blogspot: is your teacher your mum
Rensai: i love it how it just went quiet
Starvolt – starvolt-fls.blogspot: yes lol
Starvolt – starvolt-fls.blogspot: I found an Aubergine in the park this morning
Rifleman, English Rifleman: A what
Del is doing homework omfg: Yeah I have to ask the same
Starvolt – starvolt-fls.blogspot: Eggplant or whatever you USfags call them,
Rifleman, English Rifleman: I’m not a US fag you numpty
Rensai: lol
Del is doing homework omfg: Did you eat it?
Rifleman, English Rifleman: Clue is in the name
Starvolt – starvolt-fls.blogspot: I kept it
Starvolt – starvolt-fls.blogspot: It’s sat on my desk.
Del is doing homework omfg: Hmmm
Del is doing homework omfg: English. Where are you from, I wonder.
Starvolt – starvolt-fls.blogspot: It’s my new friend :3
Rifleman, English Rifleman: I don’t know
Rensai: SEE
Rensai: MONKEY
Rifleman, English Rifleman: France?
Rensai: STARVOLT IS MAKING FRIENDS
Starvolt – starvolt-fls.blogspot: WITH VEGETABLES
Rensai: YES.
Del is doing homework omfg: lawl
Del is doing homework omfg: I bet
Del is doing homework omfg: the vegetable
Del is doing homework omfg: knows what iTunes is
Rensai: lol
Rensai: yea
Rensai: and soundgarden
Starvolt – starvolt-fls.blogspot: I had a pair of headphones plugged into it
Starvolt – starvolt-fls.blogspot: Soundgarden
Rensai: :3
Del is doing homework omfg: lawl
Rensai: I am listening to them now
Del is doing homework omfg: o god
Rensai: “Fresh Tendrils”
Starvolt – starvolt-fls.blogspot: I was listening to the Prodigy
Del is doing homework omfg: why is my battery dropping so fast?!
Starvolt – starvolt-fls.blogspot: but it just changed
Monkeyfisker: back
Starvolt – starvolt-fls.blogspot: PLUG IN YOUR LAPTOP THEN
Del is doing homework omfg: I DON’T HAVE ANYWHERE TO
Rensai: SHSHSH
Starvolt – starvolt-fls.blogspot: unplug something else then
Rensai: WE ALWAYS LOVED YOU DEL
Del is doing homework omfg: YOU ARE
Del is doing homework omfg: NOT
Del is doing homework omfg: LISTENING
Del is doing homework omfg: I AM NOT
Del is doing homework omfg: AAAAAAARGHAGHAIFJ
Starvolt – starvolt-fls.blogspot: I have watched Fat Albert so many times today
Starvolt – starvolt-fls.blogspot: I want to die because of it.
Monkeyfisker: Okies so I’m back.
Monkeyfisker: I read u[
Monkeyfisker: p
Rifleman, English Rifleman is now playing Garry’s Mod. Click here to join.
Monkeyfisker: I WILL NOT MAKE FRIENDS WITH AN EGGPLANT
Starvolt – starvolt-fls.blogspot: why not
Starvolt – starvolt-fls.blogspot: I did
Monkeyfisker: Becuz we eat eggplants
Starvolt – starvolt-fls.blogspot: wait
Starvolt – starvolt-fls.blogspot: did you not even know what one was?
Del is doing homework omfg: stop distracting me women
Monkeyfisker: I WILL OM NOM NOM YOUR EGGPLANT
Starvolt – starvolt-fls.blogspot: no
Starvolt – starvolt-fls.blogspot: is my friend
Monkeyfisker: So rensai, wuts yor brilliant plan to get me a life?
Starvolt – starvolt-fls.blogspot: You should
Starvolt – starvolt-fls.blogspot: Start making friends
Starvolt – starvolt-fls.blogspot: Start low
Starvolt – starvolt-fls.blogspot: then work up
Starvolt – starvolt-fls.blogspot: Go like
Starvolt – starvolt-fls.blogspot: Fruit
Del is doing homework omfg: to a strip club
Starvolt – starvolt-fls.blogspot: Vegetables
Starvolt – starvolt-fls.blogspot: Animals
Starvolt – starvolt-fls.blogspot: People
Monkeyfisker: I have a cat :c
Rensai: i have
Rensai: 4 dogs
Starvolt – starvolt-fls.blogspot disconnected.
Monkeyfisker: Rensai, whats yer brilliant fgt plan?
Rensai: what
Monkeyfisker: To get me a life
Monkeyfisker: without kidnapping
Del is doing homework omfg: This fucker
Rensai: hm
Del is doing homework omfg: was just trying to look at my screen
Rensai: ehh?
Rensai: oh right
Rensai: yuh
Rensai: hey, look over there
Rensai points
Del is doing homework omfg: I’m gunna gut him
Monkeyfisker looks
Rensai left chat.
Del is doing homework omfg: lawl
Monkeyfisker: ;-;
Del is doing homework omfg: I’m leaving too
Del is doing homework omfg: this was fun
Rifleman, English Rifleman: Holy shit

I’m just a flash in the pan. A one-night stand. Grabbed the coat and ran. Wrote a note in crayon. Telling me to move on. Memories long gone.

I love spam mail. It can make me smile and I hope it will make you smile, too. Sometimes, one catches my eye and you can tell they’re really trying to do something.

Modest person, and a heart of gold…

I’m Seeking a sensitive Person who is caring and finds happiness in the arms of a special person.

A person who is happy with himself and has an offbeat sense of humor…

I’m new to this online site, just checking maybe it really works…

I will be looking towards meeting you soon…

I just don’t know what to say about myself anymore…

 

Please answer only to my personal e-mail

 

I only say now! I am good Russian woman who Never Not be married! Write me! !!! Viktoriya.

If there’s one time I’ll admit being a complete douche, it’s on the road. I don’t know what traumatic event in my childhood psychologists would trace it back to but I find a strange pleasure in making others driving experiences absolute hell.

One of my favorites is going under the speed limit, and then when the person behind me tries to pass I floor it. Today was a great experience as well. I was following a van, I wasn’t really even that close behind him or even going over the speed limit but something possessed the driver to pull off to the side of the road to let me pass. “What a kind gesture” you say to yourself. No. He has just ruined my fun. I have no choice but to slow down as he pulls back onto the road and go at least 5mph under the speed limit.

But there are those days when I actually feel like just driving like a normal person and there’s that douche that I know is very much like me just wanting to screw with a person and rides them the entire way so I just slam on the breaks.

I accidentally uploaded this image so I decided to use it here.

I really, really don’t like children. They’re always crying at a restaurant when I’m trying to eat. They’re always talking in the middle of a movie I’m trying to watch. They’re naturally immature and needy and annoying.

If I had to choose my future, I would want one of three things to happen:

• I live my life happily without the gnawing maws of a child tearing through my bank account. That’s what the wife is for. lolnojk
• I have a daughter. Why do you want a daughter, Delirium? Because boys are disgusting doodoo heads. I know because I am one. If I was stuck with only a son, I’d probably tell him I wanted a girl just because he’ll know why I give him to my family to watch him all the time. I mean, if I had to spend at least a quarter of my life with someone I’d want to know if they like me or not.
• I have two children, a boy and a girl. The only reason I’d like to think of this happening would be because I have a son first and we give it another go. Then again, if that doesn’t work and I end up with two sons I’ll probably give one up for adoption. Preferably the older one just to stick him with psychological issues that, perhaps, the young one wouldn’t be able to understand just yet.